Modal Verbs and Contractions

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

My heart in my throat

And every organ behind it

Wanting to come out

To run away and leave behind

Just the shell of my body

To confront you

Because if the rest of me could hide

Perhaps in a pile behind a bush

And watch just the skin that was violated

Speak up for itself

Maybe that would be easier

You touched me where you shouldn’t

When I asked you not to

When you promised me you wouldn’t

Yet you did.

And worse yet

When I asked to talk

You pretended it didn’t happen

Wasn’t really you

Said you were possessed

I stayed with you

Because I loved you

And I left you

Because I love you

Because if there are demons within

Then it’s for your own good

That I say goodbye to them

So that you can face each other

And I no longer be the excuse in the way

But your demons followed me

And it was years later

Until I learned to exorcize them

To face you fearlessly

And only then

Did I love you by choice

How it’s supposed to be.